And you will know me by trail of radiohead pins (keeplikeasecret) wrote,
And you will know me by trail of radiohead pins
keeplikeasecret

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if i ever will let down the walls that protect me from you.......not in this lifetime

Right now I am proud to say I can find no reason to hate my life. What I am today meets my expectations and I am satisfied with all my talents and accomplisments, I like my path, I like my approach to certain problems.

It is brilliant. I've lifted that blurry foggy lens I had lookin' in on myself and now see all the splendour that exists within me.

I agree, I have a B i g P e r s o n a l i t y , as the book says....one that few can handle.

I'm the drama and criticism.
Normal people get choked up around both those things.

This highly developed sense of the drama allows me to an increased awareness of the dynamics of my own existence.

And the highly critical attitude that emerges to cut away all of the careless generalizations and sloppy thinking, that aims for the essence of truth.

I am a lot
and because I am too much for some people, shouldn't that put me in the higher position?

Not that I at all would like to be at the top, surpassing others in certain areas.... I can barely stand a full two minuets of focus directed towards me. I crumble in modesty.

I prefer that everyone equally have that impact on eachother, but that wouldn't be as fun. You need a mixed bag, of course. That's what makes the world fun to explore.

......But that's not my point here, my point was that I am a stronger, well built person if my personality is too large for one to fathom. :) I should be proud, not torn apart, never ever torn apart because I wasn't the one with the issue. :)

But it is only a dissapointment because I overwhelm many, abandon many, and never truly mean to. After all, I only want to know someone better than I already know myself.

I wonder if I am pixilating the reader here, I keep going off on tangents in my writing, digressing, just letting the thoughts flow freely.

I was wired very critical so of course its a struggle to wholly express all on my mind. I pick out and sort through thoughts and select the most accurate, the ones I feel others will want to hear, the ones I feel will capture attention, reach out to others.


..................But sometimes I look at others and envy how they can just tell everything. I feel alienated sometimes because I cannot.......I go for the rational approach.

And I never go too deep into discussing feelings. Oh yeah, and that's a silly sexist statement people tend to make how guys are all rational and girls are all irrational...because I am on the extreme. I think I may be even more so rational then most men are and that scares me sometimes.

It's even more pronounced because most of the time I'm too timid to say much at all.

Anywho, right now I'm just attempting to do something different here with this entry. Of course I may choose to, as usual make this entry private right away. But maybe not...should I? Eh, who reads anywho. lol


One last thing....just a snippit of my profile lol...which is so like me :P

"As responsible as many Libra-Scorpios seem in many areas of everyday life, they have an undeniably wild, unpredictable side. Dramatic and impulsive, they will unhesitatingly fly in the face of society's moral codes to assert their values or express themselves, which they can certainly do both cogently and flamboyantly. Even the mildest of those born on this cusp have an
exhibitionistic side, and want and need others to take notice of them. The private lives of Libra-Scorpios may include many many love affairs, charting a path strewn with the broken hearts of those who have had a relationship with them. Their particular brand of charisma, impulsiveness, and mental power makes them formidable and sometimes even dangerous individuals to be involved with."


ooooo yeah, very dangerous individual to be involved with heh...goes back to all of what i'd went into detail with before...my personality is too much for one to handle sometimes :P

Yeah, okay............that's all folks......till next time, watch Family Guy and sip on those new mini sized Pepsi cans b/c its not good to drink the other size for they are twice the size, twice the ammount of unhealthy refined sugars in liquid form.
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